Ranking items in the order Mike Budenholzer would buy them for his family
As Milwaukee Bucks fans, we all know the persistent state of stress that seems to paint itself onto head coach Mike Budenholzer’s face. Sure, he likes to point at things, but more often than not he’s fiercely stroking his beard, pulling at the tufts of hair atop his head and contorting his face into all kinds of unnatural shapes. The man has a stressful job; now imagine balancing next year’s potential rotation with getting ahead on Christmas gifts. Without a doubt he’s gonna be stuck walking the sideline once more during the Yuletide season, so it’s never too early to get a jumpstart on gifts for the whole family.
Thankfully for our frazzled leader, we at Brew Hoop are in the giving mood. And thanks to everyone’s favorite department store, Target, we’ve got all the perfect Bucks-themed gifts to give his family. He seems like the kind of guy who might just buy Bucks stuff for everyone. It’s easy, it’s on brand, and it all glows brighter in the bask of a recent championship. We went ahead and ranked the five items below in order for him (we’ll let him decide who should get what item in the family…)
Mike Budenholzer seems like a retro-kind of guy. He grew up about as far as possible from the Jersey diner scene, but I bet they have diners in Arizona too, and that’s the aesthetic this wall clock reminds me of. Buying this for your loved one says, “Hey, not only do I recognize the original Bucks logo is the best, but I want you to value our time together.” It’s unclear whether the gift receiver will have to shout, “timeout,” before the clock strikes 3 pm, but I imagine Coach Bud will sort that out with his loved ones.
I don’t think Coach Bud’s kids can just hang out with Giannis whenever they want, so this gets them the next best thing. Not only is this one of those cute Funko pops, but this one is 5” tall to reflect the Greek Freak’s giant stature. That’s like, double, the size of a regular Funko. I’m pretty sure that means it’s twice as rad. What says love more than a 2X rad multiplier toy. Plus, it’s cheap.
I’ve never seen a poster like this. I think it’s supposed to mimic what it would be like if someone water painted the Bucks logo on a basketball then it started to sprinkle. Either way, at minimum, that gives it a little cache in this gift guide to differentiate it from the oodles of basic butt team posters out there. The fact said drips obscure the actual name of the team to the point it’s kinda hard to read, but the artist somehow found a way to prominently display their eminently readable name smack dab in the center only speaks to the quality you’re getting here. I like this and Bud has a chance to signify his curator credentials to his family by scoring this poster.
I think this one will be controversial. Blankets are awesome. They’re cozy, they’re comfy, they’re somehow useful whether it’s the dead of winter or it’s the heat of summer and you’ve clicked the AC on. They’re never not helpful to have around, and the fact this one emblazoned Giannis Antetokounmpo’s number over its full size is impressive. But, I prefer something that’s a bit more subtle in its presentation for my living room, or at least has a bit more pattern to it. I’m sure it’s super soft though, so Bud will be getting a loved one something they’ll treasure year-round.
Everyone should own a Tumbler. I personally went the Yeti route a few years ago to start drinking my water out of while working from home and I’ve never gone back. It preserves ice (critical since I have to make my own) and limits the trips I have to take to the Brita. This one advertises up to 24 hours of a cold beverage and up to eight of hot liquid. Those are impressive measurables. The only thing holding me back at the moment is the one review that said the Bucks design started peeling off after six weeks. Who knows if Bud’s magic buying powers would provide a better seal quality, but nothing could be a worse sign for this upcoming season than Bud gambling on a gift like this only for it to fade at the most important moments.
So, Coach Bud, if you’re reading, I hope you take our advice to heart. Nothing is more stressful than Christmas shopping, so save yourself the struggle and get all you need right now. You can thank us later when you have time to figure out what games Thanasis should start.
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